I am going to be blogging about my life changing to a healthier me as I change how I eat and what I will be doing for exercise. I have a large amount of weight to lose 150+ lbs. There will be many days of excitement and frustration. It is the beginning of a metamorphosis and before I get started I need to share some history of how I have gotten to this place.
I have been over weight 28 years of my 50 years living. Yes, I am 50! I started gaining weight when I first got married. For most of those 28 years even though I put on pounds I have felt healthy. Prior to getting married I was living alone and way out in the country. I had a labor intensive job which was a workout in itself. After work being I lived alone instead of feeling lonely I would drive into town to a gym and workout for 2-3 hrs before I went home each night. I also played softball for about 8 years. When my husband and I decided to get married I had to change jobs because we worked at the same place and it was against policy for us to be in the same department. I went to a job where I sat all day. I also quit working out because i was no longer lonely and had someone to share my after work hours with. and with time I slowly quit playing softball as well. Now as you can see, all the things I was doing that kept me in shape had now disappeared. I did not realize how much my daily life was benefiting me that way. After all it was work and what I did in my down time that kept me in shape, not something I was doing on purpose to stay healthy. As the pounds crept up I gained them evenly all over my body so it took awhile for me to notice. My husband never said anything to me so after a couple of years, boom! I was 60 pounds heavier than when we got married.
Another factor that played into all the weight gain was that we moved around alot getting transfered with my husbands job moving in and out of several states all the while also having children. Having little ones in places you don't know a soul created a world that I was not able to create lasting deep friendships. My life was the children. I have 4 amazing kids and except for one they are all grown up attending college now and not living at home. Two live in other states.My husband traveled alot during that time and it was like I was a single parent for much of their younger lives. During this time the drive thru was my friend. The kids were excited to eat out and I did not have to cook a meal. Fast food over took my eating habits, because it was easy. This was a very unhealthy cycle and hard to break.
Now forward fast to 2 years ago. Two events brought to my attention all the abuse I put on my body was now becoming a factor. In July 2008 celebrating the 4th of July at a big event involved alot of walking. I kept having to stop about every 50 yards to catch my breath. Looking back, it was not that far, but I was so out of shape just going around the block got me breathing hard. Later that same July we went on a family vacation that really opened my eyes has to how pathetic my health had become. We flew to Kiawah Island, South Carolina which is a wonderful beach get away. I started the trip with having to ask for the first time in my history for a seatbelt extension while on the flight. OMG how embarrassing! I had asked my youngest to sit with me on the plane so I would not intrude on a strangers space. When we were on the vacation, it was difficult to walk to the beach, play in the water, ride a bike and embarrassing to wear shorts and a swimming suit in public. Wow, what an eye opener to what I had become and unable to live life having fun, because now even fun was hard work! I needed to change or I was not going to live for very long.
I wanted to live and enjoy life! Even the simple pleasures became chores. I had taken care of everyone else but forgotten about myself. I was so depressed when we came back from that trip. The amount of work I needed to under take to make serious change was very overwhelming. I was incapable at that time to try and dive right in full speed as there were to many things I needed to change. I started with baby steps. NO more soda pop or fries at the drive thru. I also eliminated cheese out of my diet. I love cheese! I wished there was a quick fix but I have lived long enough to see what fads and surgery can do or should I say not do. I knew this was going to be a lifestyle change in order for me to be happy and successful...but how? I know what healthy eating is! I know how to exercise! Now putting it all together....I could not make the pieces fit. Small steps are frustrating, because I wanted results! Results were happening to slow. I will admit that some of my stomach issues subsided. I did not feel so ill all the time. I needed to make somemore changes so I quit the drive thru all together. These changes took place between August 2008 and Feb 2009 and with those changes I had lost 12 lbs. Now I needed to add another factor...exercise! Yikes, I can barely walk a block without feeling exhausted. I had been paying for a gym membership for almost 2 years and maybe had used it 8-10 times so far...time to put the money to use and actually go! On a Sunday in early March 2009 decided to go give it a try. I cried in the driveway getting ready to leave, this was a huge big step and I was scared. I drove there and teared up again in the gym parking lot. I am an emotional wreck! I went in and decided I would just walk to start. I lasted 15 minutes at a 1.9 speed and 0 incline. I was breathless! Pathetic! I did not want to go all the way to the gym for just a 15 minute walk, but I could not do anything else. I went in the locker room and cried. I had someone encourage me and tell me not to be so hard on myself, it was a beginning. I had done the hardest thing and that was walking in the door to get started. Two days later I went again and ran into a friend that worked at the gym and they got me signed up for a 3 days a week 1 hour sessions for 6 weeks class focused on weight loss. The first day, I cried again I was terrified. Was I going to be able to handle this? I did not want to hold others back in the class either. The class instructor was very good at setting me up at a pace I would be challenged with but not overwhelming me. After the first week I had improved so much and I realized ...I would not die exercising! I made it and was making progress!
After that class ended I was able to keep motivated and continued working out 3-4 days a week until about August and then I started to fizzle. I slowly went from 3-4 days a week to 6-8 days a month. In October I signed up for a 4 week 2 days a week Pilates class. I loved it! I could not do everything but I tried and felt muscles I did not know exsisted! After that class again I slowed down, it was holiday season and got over loaded with my time.
January 2010 - it is the time for new years resolutions and I needed to recommit in order to get this done. I started to go 3 days a week again and started talking with a trainer. In Febuary I signed up for him to help me. I only had enough money to pay for 6 weeks. I loved it! I met with him 2 days a week and started a food diary and learned so much! I lost 15 lbs in a few months yet I got frustrated, because I felt like I was working so hard! Why was the pounds not shedding faster?
May was fast approaching and my sons college graduation was going to take place. I had some goals; one being to not have to ask for a seatbelt extension on the flights, another to finally buy new pants and the other to be able to walk with my family without having to take breathing breaks. I went 2 weeks before graduation to try on pants...I cried in the dressing room. My pants size had not changed at all. I felt like I had lost inches as my other pants I was always yanking them up to prevent them from falling off. I could actually take them off without unzipping them. Why, why, why could I not fit into something smaller? I got so dang frustrated at that I questioned what the point of all the hard work was for, I was not shrinking in size. I quit going to the gym. I did have a great realization on the trip though. On 2 of the 4 flights to get to the graduation I did not need a seatbelt extension and the 2 I did need it was a difference of about an inch. I was so happy! I was able to walk around town with my family and enjoyed the trip even though I was wearing old pants.
Now we are into the last 2 weeks and I had a big path I thought was set before me and so much excitement occured! I saw a casting call watching "Losing it with Jillian" for the "Biggest Loser" flash across the TV. I had a couple trainers over the last year try to encourage me to sign up but I was scared to death of the idea. Well right when I saw the casting flash I knew my path was leading me to going on the show. I felt God was opening all the doors to make this happen. It was so easy and I was very calm and just knew I was going on the show. I had visions of working out on the show, encouarging my team mates, learning to cook healthy meals in the kitchen, even cried invisioning myself getting a make over and revealing the transformed me to my family! Another door I felt God opened was getting there and being #64 in line. They guarantee interviews with the first 500. I was escorted in with 8 people to a table and about 1.5 minutes to let them know who you are with their questions being asked, going around the table taking turns answering them. If we were noticed they would call us back for a second interview by late that night. I did not get the call. Now what? That was 3 days ago.
There is alot more between the lines and maybe I will share more as I blog, but this brings me to today. I am sorry to have such a lengthy beginning but the history has to be told to learn how to move forward. This is not only for you all to watch and learn my journey but for me to learn as well. I have to say that when I questioned why God took me with such ease into what I thought was really going to happen on the Biggest Loser and it didn't it made me think why? I saw the doors and path he had me go through were not really about the Biggest Loser but about me invisioning myself being successful at losing weight. He has given me the courage, strength and knowledge that I can do this. God wants us all to be balanced in many aspects of our lives, the mental, physical, emotional,spiritual and social parts. My weakest link is the physical. Here I go transforming before you all, metamorphosis taking place. I have some logistics of how I am going to get there. I am now accountable to all of you. Till tomorrow may we all be strong in what we need to do to be healthy.
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