Change in the tide.

Changes won't happen if I just keep repeating the same thing over and over and I want results...therefore I need to change.  I read this quote today: Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore - Andre Gide
Yesterday, I quit my job. Whew and I feel such relief! I have contemplated it for awhile but was lacking confidence in myself to make a change.I love the friends and people I work with! I worked for a company that is truely amazing. Not many companies out there like this one! They have high standards, take good care of employees, give back to people in need, have a great product and has a high ethics and integrity. So why quit? My job was not very fullfiling. I did not like what I was doing and was really not a good fit for me. Do i know what is a good fit?...not yet.
I have been able to figure this out though, because I was so unhappy in my job it was affecting my overall health. I have battled depression, anxiety attacks, stomache issues and I would get very overwhelmed of the thought that I needed to change but have lacked confidence in myself to do so.I have missed a bunch of days at work and then get frustrated that I was so weak to get myself out of bed and just go.I would force myself to be stronger and then the whole cycle breaks down out of unhappiness that it became a vicious cycle. All those symptoms I have been suffering are not benefitting me towards weight loss either. It is a horrible combination. Doing something you do not enjoy can wreck havack on your mind and body.
Now this choice of quiting work is not very fair to my husband in the financial end because now he will be caring that burden at least for a little while. I figured my health is more valuable then that right now. I need to take control and get it done. I need to remove factors right now that are not benefitting me because they are consumming me from focusing on what I really need in order to move forward.
 I have had to many things in my life that I am trying to improve on, that working a little here and there on this or that seems to be getting me no where. To much juggling and mind shifts. I think my life has become somewhat like the game of Hop Scotch. I keep throwing the stone out to learn something new, yet not mastering it because I have to keep throwing the stone and it changes everything up again.I keep landing and jumping from one spot to another, I get a glimps that I can do it and then the stone is somewhere else and I have to rethink the whole thing. I am tired of feeling that way. Not ever really accomplishing anything just bits and pieces.
I am hopefully taking 6 mo to a year off to get the weight part in control which will give me confidence with an accomplishment and my appearance. I am looking forward to this. I do need to set a schedule up for myself as having this much time freedom could also become a bad thing. I failed today with day one. Before my daughter and i went to bed we talked about getting up at 7 and going to a near by park to walk. I tossed and turned all night, my head filled with how to get myself organized. I want this change to be a very successful change and very worth not working right now. So when 6:45 came I turned my alarm off thinking I need the sleep. I think I slept a total of 2 hours. If my daughter wakes up on time she will come make sure I am awake and we will be on track. LOL well, her alarm went off a half hour after mine, she knew I was still asleep so she went back to sleep. I woke at 8:30 she at 10:30. We made it to the park at 1 and it was blazing hot. I did challenge myself on a very steep path and then the more level walk around the park. So we walked 1 mile in the heat, not any shade so I was done!
So back to my beginning quote: I  have courage to leave the shore and swim in the waters of change and discover what is ahead of me and it feels great! A stroke of courage in the right direction out to uncharted territory; at least for me.