I have to admit I have been very afraid to weigh in after all the holidays, because if you notice last years weight gain (12lbs) through the holidays I was nervous and wondered what kind of damage I had done to myself this year. I wondered if all the chocolate I had eaten this year did it's damage. I wondered if I was going to have a set back again. I also struggled with the fact that my clothes seem to still be fitting loser and wondered if it was my imagination, was I fooling myself ...because I really did eat lots of chocolate! I also wondered about the miserableness I felt in the beginning of January was a result of weight gain. I was lethargic, depressed and so not motivated! Food was affecting my brain and body. The body truly is amazing how it reacts to what we put in it and I was feeling the effects. I was scared. I had lost focus and did not want to start over again after all prior to fall I had lost enough to feel like I was finally making progress. My fear was that with my daughters wedding coming up in July I was possibly facing a set back in my weight loss.
As the fall into winter season came upon me I did have some things in which I changed and was proud of the changes, mostly in the food areas of my life. I did eat much less than this season has to offer ( except for chocolate). At Halloween, I did not buy any candy to fill my holiday candy holders. I use candy as cheap holiday decor as it fills my glass pumpkin jars with color as they sit about the house. I told my daughter it looked so bare, missing the color, but happy it was not there for nibbling. Thanksgiving, I made my pumpkin pie with coconut milk and removed about 120 calories per slice and it was the best! I will make it like that every year in the future. I held to one helping and eliminated the bread/rolls as I told my family, I would rather have calories that were true holiday foods, not everyday bread.
Late November I went in for our yearly health screening for insurance and I was rather excited as my numbers were even better than last years! Last years numbers are listed first.
Nov 2010 Blood Pressure mine was 129/88 ~ for Nov 2011 BP is 120/70
Nov 2010 Blood Glucose- mine was 106 ~ for Nov 2011 BG is 99
Nov 2010 LDL Cholesterol - mine was 127 ~ for Nov 2011 LDL is 118
( my #'s for TC ~184 / HDL 42 & TRG 118)! Great huh!
To say the least I got our maximum health benefit which is $450 on the health card! I was excited about that to see improvements in that area as well!
Then Christmas hit... and it was an exciting time for me as it is the first in four years all the kids were home! I miss them bunches. I did good though ( except for chocolate) eating one helping and eating mostly healthy and lower calories for most meals throughout the month. I also did not make all the dips I usually make for dipping veggies and chips. I usually make 4 different dips and when they are gone I make another batch. I did make spinach dip and onion dip and only one batch and I hardly ate any of it! One thing I have been able to remove from my diet is mayonnaise. I was a mayo spreader like it was frosting on a cake. I have eaten lots of fruit! Drank coconut milk eggnog instead of the kind laden with fat and cholesterol. It was "So Delicious" brand and soooooo very delicious indeed! Even though I was not exercising and barely concentrating on what I ate, I did not gain, but 2oz...NO Poundage! I know it has been 3 months, don't get me wrong, because I know if I would have stayed better focused I could have lost possibly 20-30 lbs. I am truely happy at this point that I did not gain! Now that I have faced the fear of the scale and see it is where I left off I am ready to get moving again. I also just realized that the changes I have made in eating has become a natural part of me otherwise I would have gained many pounds back. I do have more changes, but I am getting there!
So, I weighed myself this morning finally committing to facing the facts and moving forward, I jumped on my Wii and did the weigh in! Did I mention I did not gain, well 2 oz and I felt relief! I almost cried, but did a big smile instead and said yeah! I can do this! How I feel in my clothes is real and I feel motivated instead of discouraged.
Ok, I can move forward. I talked with someone a couple weeks ago to have an accountability partner and she agreed to help! Now on to some goal setting and moving forward...after all there is a wedding this year in which I am the mother of the bride! Ready set go!
