Oh my, what a week I have had since my last blog. I had so much to think about after my last posting. I have had a hard time wrapping my head around what do I do next. After all, my dream seems to keep crashing and I needed to clarify the answer as to why. Why do I so willingly take the first step yet never complete the climb? Why do I lose focus of a dream I have had for so long, to just turn around and keep starting over again and again?
I thought about the title to my blog; Logistics = supplying, equipping and moving. I picked this word because of its meaning and I realized that I am not applying it. I have figured out that I need a map. I don't want to get off track anymore. It is hard to keep gearing up and set forth at the beginning of the familiar trail and never reaching the top. Almost feels like the movie "Ground Hog Day" I keep repeating and starting over.
I have always had a good sense of direction. If I am not sure how to get somewhere, all I generally need is a quick glimpse of the map. I have never really needed great details to get where I was headed. I have driven across country a few times and other destinations and it is easy for me, so who needs a map; not me.
I am learning that in this case (losing weight), it isn't easy for me and I need that map! The concept of losing weight seems easy enough , eat right and exercise, a no brainer right? Apparently it is more complex than that, at least for me. If I am not succeeding in this endeavor I need to do something different. I can't keep repeating what isn't working.
I faced some things this week. One, I have been afraid of this journey, but not understood what I was so afraid of. I figured out that my fears are not about losing the weight, but what my life be like after I lose the weight. I have no idea what that life will be like. For some reason I haven't moved forward, because I don't have a clear and complete vision. I keep trying to invision it, but nothing.
Two, I don't seem to have strong, inspiring motivators in place to help me stay on the path. I realized my motivations are very vague, so I have reevaluated those. One dream has been to travel, as many of us dream. To travel to far away lands seem to be out of reach for many of us, it is just a dream. Not impossible, but if I am lucky maybe it will happen. Maybe someday I will get the chance to go.This is the mind set many of us take towards our dreams. That is the approach to many of my dreams; just a thought, not something I am really working towards. The #1 place on this earth I have dreamed about seeing is the Fjords in Norway. I would love to take some sort of boat ride or cruise up one or more of these magnificent fjords. Hike across the tops looking downward. I sought out a few pictures this week to motivate me and will be alternating them on my computer wallpaper for a daily reminder. I have other dreams besides travel, but the beauty of Norway is very inspiring to me. Makes my heart long for something.